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By Charlotte Maluski
A close, personal loss is one of the most devastating events in a person's life. It is a time when faith may be the only
thing providing much needed support. Often one hears, "Without my faith I don't know how I would have survived."
But, it can also be a time when even the devout may have their faith shaken.
Access to the comfort of the Church during this time is so very important. What is available in your congregation?
How is it responding? Is it reaching everyone? In many areas of the country, there seems to be a problem with the implementation
of the bereavement ministry. Quite often, only those who are widowed are served. At times, these programs have been expanded
to include the young children of the widowed. But these programs still are limited, reaching only one specific area of need.
Are the congregations answering the needs of the parent who receives the phone call telling them that their child
has been killed in a traffic accident? Are they there for the new bride who is told that her mother has just died? Do they
comfort the young high school student who loses a brother to suicide?
All who have experienced a deep loss - spouses, children (either young or adult), parent, siblings, grandparents,
grandchildren, or friends - they all need help.
One reason we may hesitate to offer assistance can be a need to have a deeper understanding of grief - not just the
pat labels, but to try to have empathy for the depth of the feelings. It is extremely hard for anyone who has not lived through
such a loss to understand fully the feelings involved. This is particularly true of a close loss. Even with reading and study,
it is difficult to grasp the depths of these feelings. As Dr. Joyce Brothers pointed out in her book "Widowed" (Simon
and Schuster, 1991), even after all her years of study and counseling the bereaved, she never realized the depth of the feelings
until she experienced them with the loss of her own husband.
Being there for their fellow parishioners and extending that strong arm of support is indeed a ministry of mercy. We need
to reach out to all who are experiencing the pain of grief.
No one should have to cry alone!
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