We are Samaritans because we care. We want to be there for others, to reach out and provide comfort when they are weighed down with grief. Sometimes, though, we feel inadequate. It may be because we have just signed on as a volunteer and are unsure of how to approach the grieving, and what to say to them. Or, maybe we have been doing this for years and suddenly the words seem lame. We have used the same ones so much that they have become routine – at least in our ears. What can we do?

We can listen! Listening is the key to being there for those who are bereaved. There is nothing that is more needed by the grieving than a good listening ear and a strong shoulder to lean on. We don’t have to tell them how they feel. They know! They feel like their world has been turned upside down and that there is nothing they can do about it. When they talk, they achieve a certain sense of control. To hear the words come out into the open. To hear their own puzzlement, their own “why’s,” their own hurt being spoken provides comfort.

Don’t try to give them answers. They don’t need answers from us – But oh! What a temptation it is to try to provide answers. Often they even resent the “answers” that they are given. For us to say, “He’s better off now that he is no longer in pain” usually only irritates the grieving. But, for them to say, “I know that he’s better off now that he is no longer in pain” brings them comfort. It is their hook – their assistance – in finding an answer to the, “Why did this have to happen?” That is a question that does not have an answer and whatever answer they give themselves is the one that gives them comfort. So, if you are new at this bereavement business, just know that if you have a compassionate heart, a strong shoulder and a listening ear – that’s exactly what you need.